Back-log Blog: July 2011

Love love love this photo & the adorable 4th of July dresses - THANK YOU AUNTIE BARBARA!
We celebrated Grandpa's birthday at Magic Mountain. This is Ellia's first theme park roller coaster. If I had the 1979 photo of me on this same roller coaster (my first as well) I would post it. I have a look of pure terror mixed with trying not to look terrified. I love how my sweet, careful Ellia is the only child on the ride with her hands down.
She eventually threw her hands up and when the ride was over she was confident enough (and tall enough) to go on an even bigger coaster. Here she is proudly standing in front of the "big person roller coaster"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA!

4TH OF JULY 2011
We saw Cars 2 3D with the cousins at the El Capitan. Then off to a Dodger's game & fireworks.

Back-log Blog: June 2011

The sisters (sissies, Eye-ya & L00L00.)

Ellia continues to be a 2nd Mommy to our little L00L00 (Ellia and I started calling her that at some point because she was 'acting Looloo' so I said "you're our little LooLoo." Ellia got a kick out of that, she laughed and laughed. Claira said "I not LooLoo. I not LooLoo.I Crar-a."

June marked Claira's 2 1/2 age & with it (as I noticed at Ellia's half-way marks) came a serious personality adjustment. I remember at 1 1/2 thinking "this chick wears her emotions right out in the open. Even if she has a tantrum, boom, when she's over it she is OVER IT." I thought "hey, this is cool...she gets over things so quickly!"
Well, then came the next roll-out phase of The True Claira. The Emerging Claira. The "What the hell am I gonna do when she's a teenager" Claira! For a month or so I was reeling. Everthing I learned while parenting Ellia for almost 5 years - I threw it all at her. She was immune to all of it. This chick required a whole new play book that I inwardly dreaded wasn't capable of coming up with. She seemed so foreign to me. So hot and cold. She KNEW she was older. She was mowing over every boundary she could find & with not a care in the world about it. I was living through back to back melt-downs. And by that I mean, within minutes of eachother. (Screaming about being put into her carseat instead of climbing in it. OK, finally calmed down. Boom, screaming about that way I buckled her in.) I was on pins and needles because I was right smack in the middle of a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" world. And she was mean! It wasn't just a tantrum. It was "NO Mommy! What'd you DO dat!? I don't LIKE you." She was definitely bullying me. And she was bullying Ellia too - hitting her the millisecond she became mad. Then, as soon as her tornado started it stops and SHE'S fine. SHE'S ok. She leaves chaos, hurt feelings, buises (an emotional armeggedon) in her wake - and she's lookin' back like "What? I'm over it, why aren't you?"
Luckily, after a few weeks I found my inner Mother of Claira. It's a new one & I'm really proud that we've made & grown stronger through this first of many Emerging Claira's to come. I'm firm on the things that 100% without a doubt are no-budgers. And it has to be a strong, loud NON-emotional firmness. Emotions to Claira are like blood in the water to a shark. If she senses she's 'getting to ya' she'll zero right in on ya. Mostly, I realized I had to TELL Claira what she needed to say, instead of just saying "use your words". She's an emotion thru action type person. It's hard for any child to put their feelings into words but for Claira, even more so because it's not her first instinct to let you know - she just wants to show you. Fast & easy - That's her motto. Action first, words later (maaaybe). A co-worker of mine who was the only Saggitarious in an all Virgo family once told me. Oh yeah, we're "Jump first. Say 'oh shit' later."
It's so true. But I realized that I could not let Claira be a bully. I also had to teach Ellia to not let herself be bullied. So actually it was a bonus that I could help give her the self-esteem to say No to Claira, that she will not allow herself to be treated that way. Ellia doesn't like conflict so her instinct when hearing Claira begin to whine or yell was to just make it better. ie: make it go away. I told Ellia "Claira needs to learn that she can't scream at people to get what she wants. You are a wonderful big sister and you should not be yelled at."
Things are SO much better. Claira will now point out when she is following rules. "Look Mommy! No teeming (screaming) no running aroun!" When Ellia squeezes passed her in the back seat Claira looks at me and exclaims "I no push!" She's becoming proud of herself for living inside boundaries. I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Importance of Play - May 2011

One of my favorite blogs is Teacher Tom: http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/
He teaches at a progressive multi-age parent participation pre-school in Seattle. I get a lot of inspiration from his take on "the early years" of guiding young ones. Visiting the school, most parent's would probably take one look at the outside play area and shoo their children away immediately. At first glance it looks like an absolute junk yard:
But it's overflowing with room for a child's imagination...for a child to move & learn at the same time, shaping those neuron's in that growing brain. Even once we grew up, we adults still seem to say that we learn best when we can just do it ourselves - learning through doing.
Teacher Tom had a breakthrough once where he realized that when he put things out in the yard with a specific goal in mind for the kids to do with it - he would always end up frustrated because it seemed like they weren't going along with what he envisioned. Sound familiar moms?
He said: "...the more vested I am in my own agenda, the more likely it is that I'll find myself frustrated. And that's, of course, because it's not my agenda, but the children's, that must stand at the heart of a play-based curriculum. In a play-based curriculum, the only failures are those that come when adults cling too possessively to their own agendas, either driving children toward their predetermined goal, or pulling out their own hair in frustration when the children, as they always will, seek to make it (whatever it is) their own. It's something I need to remind myself of every day, this setting aside of my own agenda. We all should, I think. There is great power in standing before children and saying, I don't know what to do. When we do that as teachers, we put learning in the children's hands, and in doing that we cannot fail."
The concept of giving Ellia and Claira something and NOT telling them "THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WITH THIS." was actually refreshing. And, seriously, they're gonna end up doing what they want with it anyway! May as well sit back and watch the show instead of getting flustered. It's hard to slow down to their pace, isn't it? It's sad we don't really remember what it was like when time went by so much slower.
Parents might look at the yard in an expansive view & write it off as messy, haphazard and dangerous. But they would miss the tiny spaces children make, inside their own minds...
...their own worlds.

Above is Teacher Toms "Mud Pit". It inspired me, even though crowded-cookie-cutter California can't really compete with other areas of the country with more room, more greenery, more originality. I bet the same moms who would say "I would never let my kids go to that messy school!" are the same moms complaining that they're kids never play outside. "Why don't you want to play in the back yard?" Maybe cuz a lot of planned-community California towns are stuck-up & landscaped to the point of sheer boredom.

Above is the girls Mud Pit and I hope to add a pulley and some gulleys (rain gutters used to pour water, sand, cars etc down.)
Ellia was thrilled and shocked that I entrusted her with REAL nails (I hadn't bought her a real mini hammer yet so she was using that baby one)
Both girls seem to be occupied for long periods of time when they're 'cooking'. So I set up their outside kitchen area with lots of stuff to grab, saved coffee grounds & bought spices at the 99Cent store.In the blazing heat good 'ol Grandpa built a sand box, a veggie garden box & a play house!While I was cutting back my arch nemisis: the night blooming jasmine tree shrub (ugh, if my hair only grew as fast as that damn shedding shrub). All 3 of us, actually, were in our own world in the yard that day, not saying much, just working with our hands and letting our minds wander. So I love that Ellia eventually thought to use my clippings to make a jungle for all her dinosaurs.And, well, Claira just got naked. Love it.

Fireworks Day

Jackson. She has insisted he be HER Jackson for as long as she's known him (her whole life). Jackson's going to be moving to another state this summer. He is going to get a wonderful new house & wide open spaces to stretch out & be all the amazing things he's capable of being. I know Ellia would be in heaven to just sit on the edge of the lake in his soon-to-be neighborhood & learn to fish, to scour the muck for the grossest sea creature this side of Peachtree, Georgia. But she won't be with him. And I know it hasn't yet sunk in completely. She just knows that he's moving far away because he has to fly in a plane to get there. And she knows he's leaving after Fireworks Day (4th of July)

Time with Ellia

This is one of my favorite photos of Ellia. And, you know, I'm not even sure why. But I think it has all the little things all rolled into one. I remember when I took it. I had crept into the room because I could not believe that she was entertaining herself for so long! Oh how I remember that blue co-sleeper: how I layered it with washcloths underneath the receiving blankets tucked over to get just the right curvature for her to lay on her side like she liked (hoping that would make her sleep longer!) I remember that toy (her 1st favorite, from San) I remember sitting with her on that big tan sectional couch & marveling at how of all the thingy-ma-jigs on the toy, she wanted to master the hardest one first (and she did!) And you can almost see the crib tent that was attached to keep Kramer out (who ended up never interested in the crib at all!) I remember rocking her back and forth, staring at the red digital clock and mentally waiting for 6 minutes to pass & then bending into the tent to lay her down, holding my breath that she'd stay asleep.

Well, and here she is.. from 4 months to 4 years! She's still sleeping in that same crib (changed out into toddler bed). Getting her to stay asleep isn't like walking on pins & needles. She still loves routine if she plays a part in it. She'd still prefer to play with me instead of entertaining herself for long periods. I suppose when she was 4 months it used to wear on my last nerve that she couldn't at least sit on her own and play. Now, it doesn't wear on my last nerve because there's so much she could be doing & a lot of the time she wants to do it with me. I guess as a parent, you're just always holding your breath for different reasons throughout the years.

These two pictures show the opposite sides of Ellia. The tomboy (transformer) and the sweet girl time (barettes, lipgloss, rings, bracelets & heels). Truth be told, she'd choose the transformer outfit handsdown any day of the week.

This is a sample of what I come across daily living with a chick like Ellia. Don't know why, don't know what for - but I do know that she definitely did.

She went through a month where she wore this Angel's cap to school every day. I loved that she was wearing something to school that sorta embodied who she is: quirky, sporty, friendly.

Ellia likes almost all bugs. I havn't quite figured out her higherarchy in terms of what's a 'good' bug and what needs to be 'killed' (stomped on) right away. Harmless, tiny ant? (she'd stomp them all if she could) Slimpy segmented worm? (loves em "I don't think they're gross") A cool Walking Stick? (terrified. go figure.) I think her favorite are the rolley polleys though. She likes to say if it's a Mama, Daddy or Baby & she talks to them.

And here's a great snapshot of Ellia's typical need to break out into the randomest of random song & dance. As you can see she changes her facial expression with each move. As she gets older, her songs get more and more facinating to listen to. I noticed awhile ago how she's able to hear a song once & memorize all the lyrics. And when she makes up her own songs she actually has a structure to it (chorus, dramatic pauses, instrumental break) She may not be able to entertain herself for very long but she sure does entertain me!

Time with Claira

My loves-to-be-nekid kid! Look that 9 month old chubby perfect-circle face...I love this picture because it has captured little things I'd have forgotten: She was always on the move & the majority of the time I'd steady her by squeezing her squishy shoulder, she was always making that muppet face with her mouth & of course we can't forget the steady stream of drool running down her double chin to her melon belly. I'd always sweep her up, bury my face in her cheek and say "Oh! You smell like a baby!"

And here she is a mere 20 months later! ...Face less round, girlie smile, still on the move, still naked. Sometimes she even still smells like baby.

Yup, I know. She won't like that I took a photo like this of her, nevermind broadcasted it on the web. But potty stage is a big deal when you've been changing diapers since 2006.

This photo is very Claira. She loves to find things on the ground (and she really liked these white rocks), she was convinced that the opening in her bib was a pocket, she couldn't quite maneuver her hand into said 'pocket' but she would not give up. As if in a yoga trance, she twisted and swayed her body just so & froze in that stance until the rocks went into her 'pocket' (and promptly trickled down to her boots. Ha!)

This photo silently illustrates what I see Claira doing a lot now: acting. She definitely knows how to joke around & try to make me laugh. Here she just landed at the bottom of the slide & instead of running off, she rolled over, covered her (smirky) face & started snoring. You can hardly laugh at her joke before she laughs at herself first. She thinks she's a riot.

Ever since I brilliantly put the craft table against the sliding door, I've been able to get some beautiful photos of the girls in concentration during creating. Claira has recently shown a strong interest in painting and art. It's fun to see the difference in creative 'styles' between the sisters. And I don't mean the style of the painting. I mean the difference in how they approach it, concentrate on it, and end it. There's something in the quiet ease that radiates from Claira while she's doing art that makes me wonder if she's artistically inclined. But could it just be her arty Mama's wishful thinkin'?

Claira, like her sister, is very tender at times (usually with a toy animal.) Here she's putting the little critter to bed all tucked in and ever so gently feeding it it's 'baba'. (We'll just pretend there's not a knife laying next to the bed.)
And here she is putting her dolly on her changing table, takin' care of business. She already sprinkled powder on her, put lotion on the bottom of her feet (like I did for her with vapor rub during her fever), and lastly she's giving her hand sanitizer (aka lotion). It's the cutest thing to see her pretend to be a mama. She'll be a good one. But she needs to outgrow eating her markers first, as you can see from the blue marks all around her mouth...


And here's just some straight-up goofball time with goofball Claira. She's a riot.

There's still love...

About a month or so ago I was startled into a new phase of siblinghood: The fighting. From the day Claira was born they got along like any parent would hope and dream. Ellia relished and flourished in her role as the bigger sister who already knew everything & now she could prove it by showing this new little one. Claira was born with stars in her eyes for Ellia. For a long time Ellia even won out over Mommy. But coinciding with Claira's new milestone of using the potty - her independence and self confidence has increased as well. The first few times Claira defied Ellia's requests or demands...well, Ellia was outright shocked. I realized it had been inconceivable to her that Claira would ever think differently than how Ellia guided her to! Poor thing. I felt bad. But her & I actually had some good talks. It gave me an opportunity to reinforce with her what a great sister she is and how patient she is with Claira. I made sure to agree with her that having a little sister IS frustrating. I'd say Claira still heeds Ellia's call 90% of the time. I just hope the sibling connection doesn't drop 10% EVERY two years!